It's the night before New Year's Eve!:) Tomorrow I'm heading out to Hallsville with my good friend Emily for a party and sleepover, but before the year ends, I had to count down my best (and worst!) moments of 2011:)
Hits: -I got into University of North Texas!
- I had a pretty good last full semester at Kilgore College
- I took online classes for the first time
-I successfully pulled off moving, all by myself!
- I became the only black woman at Improv! Whoohoo:)
- I didn't die when I moved off to college
- I saw my little brother graduate High School
- I turned 21!
- I went to a Spooky Folk concert!
- I passed my first semester at a university
- I made new friends
- I got a boyfriend.
- My biggest accomplishment? I became the first person in my family to graduate college! :D
Misses:
-I had waaaay too much stress this year.
- My job almost drove me crazy.
- Too much schoolwork
-So many "firsts"
- Stress gave me tummy problems this year...
- Being broke while I was trying to move:/
Here's a few pictures from my best times of the year:
My holiday was...interesting. I had fun with the family, and enjoyed all the things I got for Christmas from my friends and family, but to be honest, I'm glad Christmas is over.:)
My break is only halfway over, but I've seen just about everyone. I still need to spend time with my grandparents, but I'll get them in this week and weekend!
(Ethan and I had fun in the photo booth down at the school's major event Thursday, Eagle Insomnia!)
For those of you who haven't seen my last post, it was a rough week for me. This week was one major panic attack for me. But by Wednesday, I was starting to get my appetite back and by Thursday I was well enough to get out of the house a little to spend time with Ethan. I promised him we would go to Eagle Insomnia, which is UNT's major event where they take over the Union with tons of stuff. This year there was a hypnotist, an oxygen bar, free breakfast and Santa!:) Even though I wasn't fully recovered, it was a pretty great time. Since this has been a long week, what better way to end it than with Awkward & Awesome: Dead Week Edition?
Awkward:
-This. Monday. Was. Horrible. (See last post.)
-Being too anxious to leave my room Tuesday. =(
-Not being able to eat for a couple of days.
-Not being able to spend time with my friends.
-Having to force myself back to work Wednesday.
Awesome:
-I finally did go back to work, and my co-workers were supportive!
-Finally being able to eat again.=)
-Going to Eagle Insomnia with Ethan.
-Ethan took me to go see Twilight Friday after my long week! (Sorry, Ethan!)
-IT'S ALMOST FINALS WEEK! YAAAAAH TRICK YAAAH!:)
-Less than a week until I go back to East Texas for Christmas break!
-ONLY FOUR MORE DAYS LEFT WORKING AT KERR CAFE. Yes!
Well, see you next week for the "best-of's" of the semester! I gotta figure out how to defrost my fridge.
I have had an eventful couple of weeks. Everything (pretty much) under the sun has happened to me, from making friends at my job, to coming into an unexpected windfall of money. But lately I have had problems with my anxiety and panic attacks, and more recently (like last night recently) my stress vomiting has flared back up. I haven't had issues with it since I moved in August. Yuck.
Friday I went to a party for one of the improv troupe members. (Happy 21st, Eddy!) Of course there was alcohol. One of the party guests drank a little too much and got sick. I bolted for the door. It was as if my only thought was to get out of there as soon as possible, so I didn't ride home with Ethan. I walked home, even though it was a gloomy, rainy night and I really didn't know my way back to the school. I was embarrassed, but I made it through my panic attacks that night (barely). I didn't want to tell anyone what happened, because I might get laughed at. But I recovered.
Then yesterday (Monday) I went to work and some random guy in my line for the grill decides even though he's sick, it's a perfect time to try and eat. So when he gets in my line, he throws up. Right in front of me. I went into full-on panic mode and ran to the other side of the kitchen. In front of all my co-workers. I'm shaking and trying to remain calm.I can't hear what people are trying to tell me; I can't pick up food without shaking. Eventually my co-workers clean up the mess without batting an eye, and the guy just disappears. Not sure where he went. But I apologize to one of the cook managers for running across the kitchen. She just shrugs and tells me it's okay. But I was humiliated. I go to improv practice, barely making it, and go home and have a panic attack. Complete with stress vomiting. Awesome.
I'm tired of my anxiety. I'm tired of my emetophobia (fear of vomiting). I'm ready to not be anxious for no reason and I'm tired of embarrassing myself. My mom was emetophobic, but she didn't get over it until she had me. (She's still not completely over it.) I just don't know what to do. What if I do decide to have kids one day? How am I supposed to take proper care of my children if I can't handle it when they're sick? What if my boyfriend gets sick? Who's supposed to take care of him then? I am making a point to try and treat my emetophobia, starting now.:) I'm determined. Things will get better.
(P.S. Only 10 more days until I go back to East Texas with my family!)=)
As promised, a picture in my work uniform! I got bored yesterday during lunch shift. Yuck!
It's Thanksgiving Eve. And I am headed out to Bedford, TX, to be with my other Grandfather and my little brother. I so ecited! I'm ready to have a break from the food from my job, which is slowly making me sick.:P In honor of Turkey Day, enjoy my list of things that I'm grateful for!
-Ska music.
-Punk music.
-Gangster Rap
-Pretty much any type of music (except Country!)
-My college education
-My job (even though the food and I don't always get along!)
-My bike
-My friends
-My Lord, and forgiveness
-The fact that I am almost done with my first semester away at "big-girl" school
-I only have three more semesters until I graduate with my Bachelor's:)
-I am not married (THANK JESUS!) and don't have any children. Dodged a couple of bullets back in my hay-day.:P
-Guitar Hero
-Band Nerds<3
Speaking of nerds, hotness and such, our Hot Guy of The Week hails from my improv group! He'll probably kill me when he sees this on here, but I'll take that risk:) Ryan Cortez, of Savage and The Big Beat, is (Holiday!) Hot Guy of The Week!
(If I don't blog by Monday, I'll be in a murder scene.)
Hello all! Been a while since I blogged. I've gone through some BIG changes here in Denton.:) Some good, some (most likely) will be for the best.
"The number one rule of love; you can never be just friends with someone that you’re in love with."
I decided about a week ago to cut Charlie out of my life. Things weren't working out. He began talking to someone from his job and I was hurt. I really liked him and this made me upset. I gave him back all of his things and told him to pretty much hit the road. Don't get me wrong; I still miss him. Very much. There are days when I wish he were with me so I could tell him about my crazy times at work, going to shows, etc. But I know it's for the best. I would have wound up hurt anyway, and I had been thinking of leaving him alone for a while. I'm not fully recovered yet, but I am getting there:)
I'm slowly getting used to my new job! When I can figure out how to master the art of the "mirror" picture, then I'll post a pic in my new uniform! I've been there for almost a month and am about a week away from getting my first paycheck! I. Am. Excited.
I also have my first public improv performance this Sunday at the Love Shack! I'm sorta nervous, but mostly excited.:) It should be fun.
(These pictures are from last weekend's Halloween extravaganza! Which was awesome.)
It's been a weird week for me this week. I (finally) started working at the cafeteria, which was weird all by itself. I forgot how hard it is to walk to class all day and then turn around and stand on your feet for four hours. Killer. But on the plus side, I get free food, and my co-workers seem okay. Next week will be better. Here's a rundown of the most Awkward & Awesome incidents of the week:
Awkward:
-Wearing the wrong shoes to work and having to ride the bus uptown to buy new ones, which took half my paycheck from the chapel:(
-The first day I started work, my co-worker flirted with me.
-Another one of my new co-workers swatted me on the rear with a towel. Uh, thanks for the welcome, I guess?
-At the improv meeting after work Monday, one of my friends had the flu and got sick. I hid in the bathroom for an hour. Embarrassing.
-Almost having a panic attack Monday night after I got home.
-Getting a new suitemate and trying to adjust.
-I'm too tired to go to class today. My. Back. Hurts.
Awesome:
-I actually kinda like the free dinner I get every night. Yum!
-I was on grill duty last night and I loved it. Kept me busy.
-It's a pretty day outside today! I may just run a few errands, since I'm cutting class.
-My new suite-mate is pretty cool! She introduced herself to me and invited me into her room.:) We even share some of the same habits.
-It's the weekend and I don't work weekends! What!:D
Well, this weekend was EXCELLENT! Too legit for words.
Friday night, I went with my friend Charlie to Simone Lounge, on the Square. Some of his old friends from Lubbock were performing, and he wanted to introduce me to some old friends of his from there. The music (for the most part) was AMAZING. Especially the act at the end, Warren Jackson Hearne. He was AWESOME. And he complimented my earrings afterwards. Yup. Pimp.
The next day was Homecoming weekend, and so I went to the game. We WON. 38-21! Mean Green, baby!:) Here are some pictures from Homecoming Friday, and Saturday.
Oh yeah, Legends Hall (my dorm) won Homecoming! Well, all of the Homecoming events, anyway:) We got to march in the parade, although I was too tired to join in. GOOOO Legends!:D
After the game, Ryan, one of the guys from Improv, had a birthday party. So I rode with Daniel and Ryan (and Hope and Michael) out to the trailer. It was a karaoke party, so it was HILARIOUS. I did mostly hip-hop/rap music. My version of 50 Cent's "In Da Club" was incredible, if I say so myself.:) Aside from working all day Sunday, it was an AMAZING weekend. I was a zombie yesterday from staying out so late Saturday. Welcome to college:)
It's Monday! So it's "Hot Guy of The Week" day! So, in honor of the amazing weekend, our Hot Guy this week is Mr.Warren Jackson Hearne, who performed at the Simone Lounge this weekend! Yay local hotties!
Song of The Day is "Line of Best Fit" by Death Cab For Cutie!:)
I have a busy week this week! Research papers, extra credit, and studying.....but Halloween weekend starts Friday! More awesome weekend reports to come!:):):)
This has been a LONG week. And weird. Today I went in the student union to cash my check and it felt like I hadn't been there in forever. Which I haven't. I couldn't remember the last time I'd eaten in there since I decided to save money and eat out less. Well, it's Friday, so you know what that means-it's time for the weekly review: Awkward & Awesome!:)
Awkward:
-Having a weird, scary, sad dream when I had heartburn Sunday night/Monday morning
-Spending the majority of Monday reading books about said dream
-Spending Monday listening to sad love songs and such and crying
-The cold weather, that I'm ill-prepared for
-The sudden storm on Monday night. Felt like a hurricane crashing through Denton.
-Getting suddenly sick Wednesday night
-Laying in bed recovering and getting asked out by a classmate...
-Crying over Sesame Street on Tuesday. Don't ask why.
Awesome:
-Camping out in Barnes & Noble with Savvanah on Monday evening! Fun!
-Participating in my first feminist movement Wednesday. :) Something to tell my kids (if I ever have any).
-It's Homecoming week! Yay!
-The Homecoming picnic on Tuesday. I had too much fun!
-That it's Friday, and I have a fun weekend ahead! Whoohoo!
(Image courtesy of Kendra Michelle Photography.) Well, it's Homecoming weekend. Busy next two days, and work all day Sunday! Happy weekend! See you on Monday!
It's Wednesday! And I'm feeling it. Immensely. Today it's like EVERYTHING has managed to tick me off somehow. I have been so tired lately, and so distracted. Usually when this happens, changes are ahead. What exactly? Guess I'll see soon.
This was a picture from the weekend of Savannah and I acting stupid in the laundromat. I got to ride one of those video game cars and everything! I always feel like I'm five again when we do laundry!:) I think it's nice to have someone to talk to about all the stuff happening in my life.
My life is totally up in the air right now. My chapel job is now only on the weekends, and my cafeteria job is all week. I'm happy to have a break from work right now so I can get caught up on my schoolwork. I have a paper over women and pornography due next Friday, and I need to study for an exam in that class. But I can't help but feel anxious. I have always struggled with anxiety problems, but even more so since I had my first panic attack in a while last Thursday. I had a huge discussion with my friend (the one from my last blog, Mr. Indecisive) and I don't know why, but it set me off. I've been okay since, but I've been restless, and not in a productive way. (The kind where there's not a ton of dishes sitting in my sink, unfolded laundry on my floor, and a paper screaming at me to finish it.) Blah.
I think I may start going to the gym again soon! So in honor of that, here's one of my favorite workout songs-Chevelle's "Emotional Drought."
And a cute picture of a widdle hipster with a beard-as the countdown to No Shave November begins!!
Happy Midweek (and midterms for all you college kids like me!)
This picture was one from my summer/graduation shoot with Kendra Michelle Photography! I figured it'd be nice to start this post with that picture because it's Homecoming week here at North Texas:)
I had a rough week last week. I had to go fill out loooong paperwork for my new job in the cafeteria (although that wasn't a task; that was a BLESSING!), and I haven't been getting along with one of my friends. I think I may like him, and I think he may like ME, but he won't act on it, or make any decisions. So I know it's time for me to cut things off....so I'm working on that:) I have been reading some new articles, and I feel empowered, so there will be no emo posts this way, don't worry!
So this weekend (and today) have definitely been some of the most interesting days so far since I've been here. They've also been some of the most draining. Today I woke up in a totally pissed-off mood for some reason. Oh, I know why-it had been two weeks since my great interview at the cafeteria and I still hadn't heard anything from Human Resources. So I was determined to fix that today. I waited until my free period and called HR, only to be connected to Employment offices, only to be hung up on. Not. Today. So I paid their [lovely] office a visit. I must have looked REALLY pissed, because everybody stared at me as if I was going to kill them. So I was finally told to call Dining Services. So I did. Long story short, acting ignorant worked, because I FINALLY get to fill out my new hire paperwork and do my schedule on Wednesday! Yes!:D I am very happy to not have to stress anymore about money issues and finally enjoy myself here. Although I need more/better time management skills. But I'm handling that this week and taking a break from hanging out with friends on weekdays. But enough with the seriousness...
This weekend there was a HUGE birthday bash @ Hailey's for the lead singer of The Wee-Beasties, Richard Haskins. So I got my new friend Savannah and went with Charlie to the show. It. Was. Wild. There was these tiny rappers there, called Mike Bone! And they graciously took a picture with us! I felt like a groupie. Here's a picture of Mike and Savannah:
My awesome photography skills at work. The next couple of pictures I creeped on Savannah's Facebook and got.
Before the show, I went with Savannah to do her laundry. I wanted a gumball, so I sang a love song and grinded on the machine. Sexy, huh?
THE MOSH PIT! Charlie jumped in and he was the ONLY black person there. It was strangely...sexy. (Ha!) So in honor of such an awesome weekend, for your entertainment, it's Awkward and Awesome: Weekend Edition!
Awkward:
-Having to break down and ask Charlie to help with my bike on Friday. Although it had been a miserable day and I was GLAD to see him.:)
-Not knowing what a monkey wrench is while he was trying to help me with my bike.
-Having a breakdown on Friday and almost packing and trying to move to East Texas. I don't have any money to move. Ha.
-Going to the show and walking with Savannah and being too stubborn to ride with Charlie and getting caught in the rain on the way to the show. Not too hard though.
-Trying to hide and do my own thing on Saturday, but he found me at the show anyway. Yup.
-Getting nauseated at the show and almost throwing up. Stupid onions I had on my burger. My stomach hasn't adjusted to all this junk food quite yet.:/
Awesome:
-My bike is finished! And he walked with me at midnight to put air in the tires. Aww!
-Finally getting started on my research paper and 18-page project for my Psychology classes. Yay!
-Playing in the laundry carts at the laundromat with Savannah! Made me feel about five again!
-Being asked by the manager at Hailey's to dance in the Halloween show. Too bad I'll embarrass myself.
-While I got nauseated at the show, I said I wished I had some gum. Charlie walked in the rain to go to the store and got me some. (And got Savannah a bottle of water!)
-Charlie in the mosh pit! Representing! Whee!
-The lead singer of The Wee-Beasties coming towards me in a Speedo mid-show and Charlie getting into an angry stare-down while he jumps in front of me. I felt so LOVED. Lol.
-Running to the car afterwards with Savannah and Charlie through the rain. It was awesome. I loved it. Fun. Times.
This video of the Week is bought to you by Darstar, one of the bands at the showcase this weekend!
Well...it's been a busy couple of weeks. That's an understatement. I am still waiting for Human Resources to finish my paperwork so I can start my new job. I. Am. Exhausted. But at least I still work at the Chapel.:) We just got a new church group to come and host Sunday services so WHOO for more hours at work.
This picture is from the horror that was Salsa Night. Somehow it wound up on the internet...:/ (But that guy is cute!)
My friend Charles and I went to Harvest Fest this past weekend! Yup. Fun times.
Well, I'll be back soon with my weekend post. Work awaits.
So, I have had a weird weekend. It's been one of those emo days. But I'll start with good things that happened to me on Friday.
This week I got an e-mail from the cafeteria here. I'd applied there way in July, but I was told that Bruce (the cafeteria I applied to) wasn't going to be open until October, so they weren't looking for help. But the e-mail said that they were looking for servers and dining room workers, so I thought about it for a couple of days. But then I realized: I don't have anyone to take care of me. This job was offering 20 hours a week and no weekends. Can't pass that up. So I called and filled out an application for Human Resources. Then Friday I went to Victory Hall for the interview. And he loved me! Particularly my smile. So I got the job! I CAN'T WAIT TO START! Hopefully I get to meet some new people and it'll help my mood:) I'm excited!
This is the song that I was listening to on my "emo" afternoon yesterday. Definitely one of the saddest songs I've heard in a while. And then there's the Coldplay version...eww. But aside from having a girly emotional moment yesterday, I had fun! I went to my first college football game! And we WON! (finally!) Wahoo! 24-21. Here are some pictures from yesterday.
Fun, fun. Afterwards I hung out with some people from Fry Street and called it a night. I was tired. So...I'm not sure what this week holds, but I'm excited to see what happens next in my life. I've been going through a lot of changes lately. (some good, some just weird) But I'm still loving the ride. Well, time to clean my room. Tonight I'm going to try my hand at using a stove for the first time since I've moved. But to leave off, enjoy the Song of The Weekend, bought to you by NOFX.
Okay...so I have started to realize that I don't really sleep anymore... Ever since I started Big Girl College, I don't sleep as much as when I was at KC. Not in a negative sense; I'm just always busy with something nowadays.
(Yes, I know this picture is sideways!) But it's a picture of Denton's town square, where I spend time sometimes on weekends:) Today marks ONE MONTH since the day I moved in here! I have had my fair share of bad days, frustration, and homesickness. But I have also had plenty of fun and adventures. So in honor of my one-month anniversary here, I took a page from a blog of an old classmate of mine and decided to list the weirdest and funniest and best things that have happened to me thus far. Hence, "Awkward and Awesome: The Denton Edition!"
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-Awkward
-Getting lost on campus more times than I can count
-Buying cheap bologna and getting it home realizing it's expired. Yuck.
-Walking into the wrong class for my Spanish lab
-Noticing a hot guy in your Spanish class, but only realizing he's hot the day he has to run out of the classroom to throw up. Ummmm....
-Skipping class from lack of sleep
-Being hungry...and broke
Awesome:)
-Landing an awesome job in UNT's chapel.
-Finally getting my budget together!
-Paying off a loan and paying too much, so I got an unexpected check in the mail
-Loooong nights on the Square with awesome people
-Having a nice dorm room with no roommates or suite mates
-Laughing at drunk people on Fry Street
-My new friends!
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So here's to another eight months of awkward and awesome misadventures!
