Champagne Supernova

It's the night before New Year's Eve!:) Tomorrow I'm heading out to Hallsville with my good friend Emily for a party and sleepover, but before the year ends, I had to count down my best (and worst!) moments of 2011:)

Hits:
-I got into University of North Texas!
- I had a pretty good last full semester at Kilgore College
- I took online classes for the first time
-I successfully pulled off moving, all by myself!
- I became the only black woman at Improv! Whoohoo:)
- I didn't die when I moved off to college
- I saw my little brother graduate High School
- I turned 21!
- I went to a Spooky Folk concert!
- I passed my first semester at a university
- I made new friends
- I got a boyfriend.
- My biggest accomplishment? I became the first person in my family to graduate college! :D

Misses:

-I had waaaay too much stress this year.

- My job almost drove me crazy.

- Too much schoolwork

-So many "firsts"

- Stress gave me tummy problems this year...

- Being broke while I was trying to move:/

Here's a few pictures from my best times of the year:

"I came, I saw, I conquered."

See you in 2012!

Love, Ty:)

Laid To Rest

My holiday was...interesting. I had fun with the family, and enjoyed all the things I got for Christmas from my friends and family, but to be honest, I'm glad Christmas is over.:)

My break is only halfway over, but I've seen just about everyone. I still need to spend time with my grandparents, but I'll get them in this week and weekend!

Happy Holidays!

Love, Ty:)

Rainbow in the Dark

(Ethan and I had fun in the photo booth down at the school's major event Thursday, Eagle Insomnia!)

For those of you who haven't seen my last post, it was a rough week for me. This week was one major panic attack for me. But by Wednesday, I was starting to get my appetite back and by Thursday I was well enough to get out of the house a little to spend time with Ethan. I promised him we would go to Eagle Insomnia, which is UNT's major event where they take over the Union with tons of stuff. This year there was a hypnotist, an oxygen bar, free breakfast and Santa!:) Even though I wasn't fully recovered, it was a pretty great time. Since this has been a long week, what better way to end it than with Awkward & Awesome: Dead Week Edition?

Awkward:
-This. Monday. Was. Horrible. (See last post.)
-Being too anxious to leave my room Tuesday. =(
-Not being able to eat for a couple of days.
-Not being able to spend time with my friends.
-Having to force myself back to work Wednesday.

Awesome:
-I finally did go back to work, and my co-workers were supportive!
-Finally being able to eat again.=)
-Going to Eagle Insomnia with Ethan.
-Ethan took me to go see Twilight Friday after my long week! (Sorry, Ethan!)
-IT'S ALMOST FINALS WEEK! YAAAAAH TRICK YAAAH!:)
-Less than a week until I go back to East Texas for Christmas break!
-ONLY FOUR MORE DAYS LEFT WORKING AT KERR CAFE. Yes!

Well, see you next week for the "best-of's" of the semester! I gotta figure out how to defrost my fridge.

Love, Ty=)

Fine, Again

I have had an eventful couple of weeks. Everything (pretty much) under the sun has happened to me, from making friends at my job, to coming into an unexpected windfall of money. But lately I have had problems with my anxiety and panic attacks, and more recently (like last night recently) my stress vomiting has flared back up. I haven't had issues with it since I moved in August. Yuck.

Friday I went to a party for one of the improv troupe members. (Happy 21st, Eddy!) Of course there was alcohol. One of the party guests drank a little too much and got sick. I bolted for the door. It was as if my only thought was to get out of there as soon as possible, so I didn't ride home with Ethan. I walked home, even though it was a gloomy, rainy night and I really didn't know my way back to the school. I was embarrassed, but I made it through my panic attacks that night (barely). I didn't want to tell anyone what happened, because I might get laughed at. But I recovered.

Then yesterday (Monday) I went to work and some random guy in my line for the grill decides even though he's sick, it's a perfect time to try and eat. So when he gets in my line, he throws up. Right in front of me. I went into full-on panic mode and ran to the other side of the kitchen. In front of all my co-workers. I'm shaking and trying to remain calm.I can't hear what people are trying to tell me; I can't pick up food without shaking. Eventually my co-workers clean up the mess without batting an eye, and the guy just disappears. Not sure where he went. But I apologize to one of the cook managers for running across the kitchen. She just shrugs and tells me it's okay. But I was humiliated. I go to improv practice, barely making it, and go home and have a panic attack. Complete with stress vomiting. Awesome.

I'm tired of my anxiety. I'm tired of my emetophobia (fear of vomiting). I'm ready to not be anxious for no reason and I'm tired of embarrassing myself. My mom was emetophobic, but she didn't get over it until she had me. (She's still not completely over it.) I just don't know what to do. What if I do decide to have kids one day? How am I supposed to take proper care of my children if I can't handle it when they're sick? What if my boyfriend gets sick? Who's supposed to take care of him then? I am making a point to try and treat my emetophobia, starting now.:) I'm determined. Things will get better.

(P.S. Only 10 more days until I go back to East Texas with my family!)=)

Love, Ty:)