As anybody knows who goes to school with me, I work at Bruce Cafeteria. I used to work at Kerr Cafe, but I transferred after last semester. I've been working for UNT Dining Services since Halloween. In the short time I've been there, I've learned, seen, and heard a few interesting things. This post is dedicated to the stuff I've seen, and heard. Oh, and also a few simple "rules" for eating in the dining halls. From the viewpoint of a disgruntled food service worker.
Ear Hustling:
Never underestimate how much of your conversations I can actually hear while I walk around with my bucket and my broom. I might be invisible in your eyes, but my ears still work. I've heard a little bit of everything during my time on the job. Here's a few tidbits of interesting talks I've heard on the clock.
-"I mean, I'm not attracted to her at all. But I just can't tell her that. You think she'll get the picture if I just start ignoring her? I've pretty much told all her friends that it's not, like, going to happen."
-"I mean, I think I might be pregnant. But I'm not sure. Like, how will I know?"
-"Like, how do I file my taxes? Is someone supposed to do that for me?"
-"Dude, I gotta figure out how to squeeze a whole month's worth of sex into a week."
""So, I wanna date a football player so bad. I think we should go get an apartment next year in case they need to crash."
No, these are not made up. Those are all actual conversations.
Nobody knows, the trouble I've seen...
The cafeterias I've worked at have fed up to 1700 people a day. Most of them freshmen. I've seen a bit of everything at these places.
-Do I even need to mention the guy who threw up in the grill line while I was at Kerr? I have a whole blog post about it. Still traumatizing. Eww.
-People, if you're that broke to the point where you're smuggling in Tupperware to try and steal food, then it's time to go get a job. UNT Dining stays hiring. Get off the couch.
-No, the apples at the salad bar are NOT fair game. Again, go get a job.
-If your favorite pastime is sitting in the school cafeteria for two hours with your laptop and your friends, then you need to seriously evaluate what the heck you're doing with your life. Period. Seriously, I don't spend that much time there and I WORK there. I make money when I walk through those doors. If you and your friends enjoy spending the duration of my shift sitting there in filth, then you have issues. In my opinion.
-Yes, I can actually see you get up and leave your dishes. Don't be mad when I go up to you and (often aggressively) tell you to pick up your trash. I'm not your mother. I'm not getting paid to pick up your nasty dishes. Sorry not sorry.
Rules of The Road:
-Don't ask me when the ice cream machine will be fixed. No, I have no idea what's wrong with it. Yes, it's really broken. And no, I'm not asking my manager. Get over it.
-Again, I'm not your mother. I'm not cleaning up after you. Pick up the freaking dishes and take to the dish machine. Not hard. If that's hard for you to do, then you need to step up your exercise game. Do cardio.
-Don't complain that there are no clean tables and then mean mug me when I try to clean the table before you sit down. Be patient. I'm doing this for YOUR good. Unless you LIKE sitting in food crumbs?
-Better yet, how about we try to NOT eat like two-year-olds and keep the table clean? Unless you weren't taught that at home, either?
-I'm a student, just like you. I have homework, a boyfriend, and a life waiting for me at home. Just like you. WE CLOSE AT EIGHT. NO EXCEPTIONS. Eat and move around. My co-workers and I would like to go home, just like you would. At 8:15 when I close, I have no problem politely asking people to leave. Simple.
-Don't get rude with me, I won't get rude with you. But don't think that just because I have on this uniform that I won't clock out as quickly as I clocked in. You seem to forget that I go to school with you. You probably live on campus. So do I. Don't put on a facade while I'm at work that you wouldn't keep up if you saw me on the Square, or in class.
-Respect me. And my co-workers. We're not slaves. We're just here to do our jobs and go home.
Love Letters:
The cafeteria has a little section where you can write your comments on cards. Here are ACTUAL comments I've seen on the cards, and MY answers to them.
Dear Bruce Cafeteria:
"I want to know why I can't walk in here with no shoes on. I feel that it's my right to be able to go wherever I want with no shoes on. I live here."
Dear Barefoot and Confused,
I won't even ask why you want to go barefoot. That's your business. While you feel like you should be able to go anywhere with no shoes, society seems to feel differently. When was the last time you were allowed to walk into say, IHOP, or Wal-Mart without shoes? Huh? Well, here at Bruce, we're doing it for your safety. We break dishes all the time. And the floor has tons of diseases. Unless you enjoy the possibility of a staff infection. Put your shoes on. Save the barefoot freedom for next year's Harvest Fest.:)
Dear Bruce Cafeteria,
" Can you please put the drink dispenser machines on the other side of the room? It's creating a lot of unnecessary walking to have them so far away."
Dear Convenient,
I don't think that's happening anytime soon. Until the next renovation, how about getting on some cardio if it's that hard to walk across a small room? Or talk to a doctor. I tell you this in love.
Dear Bruce,
What's up with this music?"
Dear Hipster/Rapper/Punk,
I actually agree with you on this one. We play some crap. But I'm working on that.:)
Until next time,
Tyeisha Neicole, signing off:)
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